Random Thoughts

Jealousy

Alhumdulilah I don’t feel jealous (hasad). Jealousy in our religion eats up our good deeds. So we are taught as a kid not to be jealous of others.

My dad used to get us things which were unique. Not available here in India. Other didnt had them. I could sense their jealousy. It made me feel bad. Not for them, I hated them for feeling that way. What do they have to with what I have?

Can’t they have their own? Why are they after my life? I didn’t understand their limitations, restrictions etc.

But now when I see somebody has something that I dont have. Its like this moment takes me back to that moment I felt. And the feeling is so strong. That I dont feel jealous at all.

I believe what they have is what they struggled for or wished for. And what you have is what you wish for.

So are you happy with what you have?

So do you think they are happy with what they have?

The exictement of having something is only till the time you don’t get it. When you get it, its gone. You have it.

You can make it important though, if its important enough.Long lasting. But you will have to work on it.

P.S: I have stopped telling people what I want. Its like, you want to eat an apple. Its an ordinary apple, noone is even buying it. The moment you say your craving for apple and its not available anywhere. The price will go up high. To f**k with what I want. I really dont want anything.


Do you love me?

This question we ask for security. It is so selfish that you want the person to prove it to an extend that knows no bond. It includes suffering, displaying of emotion and proving that your stupid.

May be thats also not enough. Its nothing wrong. Nobody wants to get hurt. Everybody needs assurance. Even though we know deep down, it may or may not be true.

And when we get betrayed, the most hurtful thing is that – How could you trust them? Are we so easy and stupid?

Everything goes around what we want.

But why?

Why do we get so selfish that we want somebody to love us to that extend?

What if you die? And then some of them wouldn’t want them to be with someone else too. (You are mine)

Love what we know as ‘the way we have been expecting’ like in movies. It doesn’t exist. We can create it though. But creating them is very dangerous.

May be thats why marriages were invented for. To fulfill the needs of a person. So that he/she lives peacefully. Over a period of time, things changed, prespective changed. Expections have reached no limits. And depression, depression, depression is what we see.

Marriage like a legal contract. Like a people would say ‘a practical thing’. Instead of it becoming a way of benefitting us, it became more like a cage. With benefits love will automatically flow in. Benefits – helping each other etc. Instead of being a burden that everyone wants to run away from.

Unrealistic things can be made real. It all depends on what we want.

Complicated life? Make it simple! Won’t be that simple though.


Goodness

Sometimes goodness is poisousness.

If you want to leave a person. But they are too good. All you are looking for is faults. But you can’t find any. It becomes difficult to leave such person.

So with limitation. You give the opposite person the chance to move on. If they want. They wont feel stuck. They may come back. But alteast they will be sure this time that they can adjust with you limitation.

Everything related to love is seemed by people stupid. But they do it anyway.


How things strange are:

World has alot of hyprocisy in it. People say one thing, do the other. People’s mind works in a mysterious way.

How strange things are:

You say something that you experienced in past, something dreadful. And it sounds so simple.

But say something that is so simple sounds dramatic.


Tom and Jerry

I dont know if someone has felt this. But if your in a relationship. If the person approaches you, you run away from that person. And when you approach that person, that person runs away from you.

And this will go on. Until one has to stop. So, I be the bigger person. And let go!


Communications

It leads to misunderstanding. Words are very powerful.

When you are in a conversation, you understand things according to your perception. And same with the other person.

Now what happens is. When you say a sentence. Like for instance. I am happy. You have given that person limited details. And they will assume you are happy. It may be that you are happy for the moment. Or may be because you are happy because you are talking to them.

And then they will say, ‘But you said you are happy!’

You will be all confused to make them understand. And think that you are now contradicting your statement. And the fights begins.

Electronic converstations are the worst. Because it hides emotions. When you are with someone you immediately get the vibes and expressions you are looking for. (Even that sometimes lead to miscommunication). It may or may not be important, depends on you!


Pratical

People who be practical, are they pratical themselve? Its not necessary to be practical always.

Things can be planned and made pratical. Stop misusing the word!

Why do we fake smile?

  • Cause we know that other are going through stress and may not want to deal with a your problems.
  • Cause you cannot go on the road and yell ‘Oh, I am so broken.!’ Would you like to see somebody do that?
  • Cause you know your smile will make others smile.

Love vector created by freepik – www.freepik.com (I like the image)

Different types of people

  • Give and take types

-Most respected. Forms a pattern.

– They have issues taking anything from others. This pose a disadvantage. Because sometimes thing which are free are sold to them lol. (You should understand that its okay sometimes to take, accept it as a gift.)

Its not necessary all the time to give back if its not in your capability. Compromise most of the time leads to confusion. I gave you this- usually I don’t-because your special. This thing is most difficult to explain. You will spend your life proving it. It wont happen because you did it. Being firm with your limitation and understanding the peoples limitation helps to maintain a healthy relationship.

  • Take too much

Is not really interested in respect. May not be wrong and in fact most happiest person if thing go according to them. They are may easily shattered because they have to much expectations and may someday wont be able to fulfil. And wont be happy with minimum. Greed starts to built in.

  • Giver!

Most taken advantage of. All they want is respect. They cannot compromise on that. They know they are being taken advantage of- still they give. It makes them happy. But doesn’t understand giving too much is creating a ‘take too much’ personality.


Should there be a balanced type?

Background photo created by jcomp – www.freepik.com

EVERYONE DOES IT (editing)

One wrong thing (small) leads to big ones.

What harm comes with having one cigarette? They may tell you.. (Or any other thing that you can think of).

So it begins with.. lil things. And then this small hole is it turned into a big pit. You create a pit for yourself which was first dug or was done with the person who put this thought in your head. And made you believe.

Not understanding whats happening to you. And, till the time you understand, you are already down in the pit. And you struggle to come out of it. But its too late. You blame yourself. Thinking that this is what you wanted, you stop trying to come out of it.

Where is this person? Are they with you now?

Man photo created by wirestock – www.freepik.com

As we grow up, we experience many things. This leads us to become who we are and what we are doing.

Everything is new. We set limits and expectations.

These limits creates our boundaries of what we are allowed to do and what not. Things like, if somebody offers you drink, will you take it?

Probably you won’t. But then it changes with time.

There are times, situation make us suffer where in this seems to be the only way out. Then we form a perception that things works this way. And it is going to be this way (rationalize it). To be safe and sound and follow the crowd they drink (just an example).

That’s how we slowly and gradualy lose our well being and our rules and values.

We give up because we don’t want to fight the world and follow the idea of… “..”

People tend to generalize things by saying, “Everyone does it”.

As if they have done thesis or research on this hypothesis. Even the psychologist dont make such strong statement with such confidence than they do. (Nobodys fault, even they have been through this)

How do they know that everyone does it? Just because they saw some people doing it they thought that everyone does it. Don’t fall for this. Its not true.

Even if everyone does it, does it make mandatory for you to do it? Do you want to do it? Are you well versed with the consequences of doing it?

If you fall for the thought of ‘everyone does it’, you start to break that limits and boundaries you made. And things become casual. Slowly and steadily you don’t feel that you are doing anything wrong. And influence other by saying:

EVERYONE DOES IT!”


Break the chain.

It has its pros and cons. Respect people who don’t do it. I have had friends in my life who have accepted me as I am. WE should also understand that WE should be ourselves. Stand up for yourself. And make people understand why it is important for you. Its not that they are wrong. Its just your beliefs and values. And that doesn’t make you different from them.

Main image:

Background vector created by freepik – www.freepik.com